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Mashed Potatoes in the Hole

Thursday, the 6th of August 2020 | Beer Brewing Blog
Mashed Potatoes in the Hole Image

There are few things more exciting than being at a sporting event in person. Seeing your favorite player score a touchdown, goal, or make a 20' putt in person is an experience.

The players feed off of your excitement and they know you are there for them. But seriously, is it really worth the effort and do the organizers really care about us, the average fan without an Amex Black Card? I love sports...watching, participating, talking, and even learning about new ones. I found out a few weeks ago that Aston Villa is an English Premier League Football (Soccer) Team and not a bar in Carmel. I, like so many, was happy when I was able to watch sports again.

We just had the first major of the 2020 season without fans at the event. I have attended a lot of sporting events which include three U.S. Opens, a PGA Championship, and a number of Korn Ferry (aka the Nike, Buy.com, KFC) Tour events.

Each time I have attended a Major Championship, I did it as the regular dude who applied for tickets. When I ‘won’ the drawing, I was granted the opportunity to purchase tickets. As I look back, I realize how mentally ill I am to have endured what I did, just in the hopes of seeing a professional golfer hit a good golf shot.

Let’s start with getting there. A football stadium has a capacity to park at least 30,000 cars. A golf course can park about 30 cars.

The solution? Have us fans park 10 miles away and put us on a shuttle bus. That really worked great when a thunderstorm for the ages popped up at Baltusrol.

Want to see Tiger miss a putt? If you are lucky you might be able to see his caddie remove the flagstick from the back of a 40-deep throng of fans. Make it to a tee box to see a drive? You get the guy who screams in your ear, “Get in the Hole!!” (on the 550-yard par 5) as he spills his $10 beer all over you. Smells better than sunscreen, I guess??!!

Need a break from being baked in the sun? There are food tents on property with chairs and tables. “Sorry Sir, this is a corporate hospitality tent. The $10 beer and $9 hot dog stand is over there.” Never mind.


Hey look...there’s Bryson! Off to see if he argues with a rules official! The guy who you can’t get rid of yells, “Mashed poatoes!” just before he hits the ball. Rage erupts and I scamper to safety so not to be accused.

Hey, there’s Patrick Reed. Let’s see if I can witness him work around the rules. Nope, but the same annoying guy now yells “BaBa Booey!” In return, Patrick’s caddie yells and ugliness ensues and it’s time to go home, If I can just find the $#@& shuttle bus pick up area!!

Golf without fans at the course is fine. I’m sure pros don’t mind, although there are less people to help find their ball after errant shots.

With the exception of the Ryder Cup, the pros doing their thing in their bubble works. If you’re thinking of going to a Major Golf Championship, rethink it and save yourself the time, money, and aggravation.

For the record, when the lottery for the Masters opens, I will be entering. Yes, I’m a hypocrite, but I hope to get to Augusta National, even for practice round, at least once in my life. I am zero for however many of years they have had the lottery...but there’s always hope.

Let me know your thoughts. Until next time, regards from the Beer Brewing Golfer.

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